The Kill Everyone Project

So what the hell is this place?
Top 1000 killers lists

StartFinder-When did one start TKEP?
Charts, graphs, screencaps and stuff
Tool lyrics

TKEP Haiku and poetry                  
AiliaWingSis Ardeninian
Arkira Banquo
The Better Biff blue infinity
bulmablue BurningSnowman
Circe Collaborations
cubedbee ducttapeguy
Egsderminatør EnygmaEve
FallenSeraphim feverpetal
Furhoo Hanover Fist
ippmm Kalixis
Lady Deathstrike levi5384
mindofme Soho_Black
staticentropy thellama73
Torbjørn Tyræl
WhatEvil YoZen
Recent additions in red (Last update Jun '06)                            

Hanover Fist:
1 Clicking more and more 2 Try to escape KEP
Quest for virtual killing Temptation calling me back
Fingers are bleeding Chanting "One...More...Rank!"

3 Unable to breathe 4 Done millions of clicks
Laughing at the monitor Pain lancing through both my wrists
NaN jokes start again Carpal Tunnel strikes

5 Heat up the Troll Brand (tm) 6 Mitä rank meinaa?
"FUCK SHIT U LAMERS R GAY" Was ist mein kills pro minute?
Damn spammers are back N00bs speak in all tongues

7 I can't believe this 8 Must regain my rank
Counting stupid syllables Clicking mindlessly again
Damn this haiku sucks *Zombie mode is ON*

9 Mindlessly clicking 10 Wakka wakka wah
Keeping the brain occupied Soundtrack of seventies funk
Writing more haiku Swedish pr0n tonight

11 Tossing and turning 12 Killing everyone
KEP has invaded my dreams Countries falling 'cross the globe
Clicking in my sleep Children are dying

13 Dialup users whine 14 Bots invading ranks
Their comments five minutes old Five new users in top ten
Lag monster got me "Help me Gasmaster!"

14 Bots invading ranks 15.1 *sigh* Six digit gap
Five new users in top ten n00b says "Eek! A one K gap!"
"Help me Gasmaster!" *Gets branding iron*

15.2 *sigh* Six digit gap 16 Han the haiku man
n00b says "Eek! A one K gap!" Frightening the regulars
*Slaps a n00b sticker* Can he speak in prose?

17 Words typed too quickly 18 Silence of the clicks
Wish that I could take them back Blankness driving me insane
But the chat scrolls on *Vultures circle chat*

18 Silence of the clicks 19 HE is calling. Now.
Blankness driving me insane Another burnt offering
*Vultures circle chat* NicFit has risen

20 Early morn / late night 21 "You'll be my bitch soon!"
Circe has just left the building Erick is always angry
Chat empty again Crashed the NaN again

22 Misinterpret chat 23 "Loading..." for minutes
I type a stupid comment Another thousand kills lost
Open mouth, add foot Lag storm strikes again

24 Love the new system 25 Always improving
Trolls no longer trouble, but KEP goes beyond wildest dreams
Squinting at the screen Hail to Gasmaster

26 Tilting head again 27 Logo lehmä typed
What was that supposed to be? Cow clicked, Eyes grow wider, *Zooooom*
Pengu's ASCII art Screaming off the screen

28 Faces from the past 29 Male T-KEPpers drool
Crem, Phade, Ailia, Catti DarkUmber gave us the link
TKEP's old home week Shann blushes and hides

30 HiByeHiByeHi 31 Tracers across screen
Sighs of frustration abound Ooga bounces on cam'ra
Ping Pong chat server Head is spinning now

32 TKEP males ponder 33 Like a fresh new shirt
The chat has ground to a halt Can't even make a cow yet
Rah has pierced them both Han's a n00b again

34 Living in fear now 36 Mikä toi gap on?
What was it I said back then? Mitä järkeä täs on?
Cremo has chat logs The Finnish n00bs strike

the Satan Nurse haiku 37 Well, PpG, IT was a bot
35 Red button spirals despite all the claims IT was not
Evil-filled nurse uniform IT grew so irate
The pink pills kick in IT NaNed in IT's hate
and IT flew out of here like a shot

38 An Auth Key Failure? 39 Han flies through the air
Try to reload, but no luck Dopplered echoes as pliskin...
Server's down again :( Shakes fist at printer

40 Twenty four hours 41 Rambling onward
I clicked 'till my hands were numb I look up in amazement
Daily cheese is mine :D accidental haiku

42 Scary face returns 43 Slip and miss button
A flash of blue on the left Five seconds of clickless grey
There is no Walken Penalty again

44 Gah! Nine million gone? 45 Yawn stretches the face
Had sixty percent before! Jerk awake to find myself
Yet another NaN Sleepclicking again

46 Lehmä and juusto 47 Resisting the call
Firing up the n00b-be-cue Clenching teeth, but it's no use
It's cheeseburger time HE drags me away

48 Over two months now 49 End of tunnel near
Endless clicking, no rank gain Three months, six digit gap now
seven digit gap Near rank three again

50 Evil behavior 51 Long night of clicking
Nosty nurse asking for it Months of waiting are over
SN SPANKED again Rank three mine again

52 Silent_Kane is here 53 Italy was gone
Lurking within the chat again Twenty million down the drain
But will he answer? BrainSlog has been NaNed

54 Seven months of work 55 A chat overload
Visited, hoping to stay Juggling windows like eggs
Rank 2 will be mine KPM is shite

56 Worse than the typos 57 The call is answered
Syllable counting ensues Nicotine rushing through veins
Haiku virus strikes HE now sleeps again

58 Five digit gapland 59 Haiku is mentioned
Dogged persistence paid off The syllables compel me
Rank 1 within reach To write another

60 To click or not to click, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the chat to suffer
the slings and arrows of diminishing gaps, or take mice in hand in a flurry of clicks,
and by opposing end them? To die, to click, no more. And by not clicking, to say
we end this competition and the millions of unnatural clickshocks that wrists are heir to;

61 A screenful of blue 62 Nothing is stirring
Intense convos going on Not even a tumbleweed
Under the surface Talk about dead chat!

63 Nearing one percent 64 Chocolatey goodness
Of the Earth killed by one man Coating the sandwich cookie
Han's mouse grows bloody The Tim Tams go fast

65 The chat is stagnant 66 Quiet blue filled chat
Minutes pass without comment Accidental flash of white
Tumbleweeds blow through *Smacks self with /message*

67 Manic collector 68 Long missed one returns
You thought they were forgotten Good thing Rah forced your presence
Han's haiku list grows Ailia is back :D

69 Basking in the heat 70 Playing with new chat
Getting a tan from the rays of Time spent making new logos
The AiliaGlare(tm) Clickless day for Han

71 Two songs play at once: 72 Yet a new version
WinAmp's selection and the Gasmaster works late again
Melody of clicks The /who lists all rooms

15.3 *sigh* Eight digit gap 73 Brush off the charcoal
n00b says "Eek! A one K gap!" So? Who needs that skin layer?
*Han slaps n00b sticker* AiliaGlare(tm) falls

74 KPM too high 75 Push the Speed of NaN
Take time, let the session drop KPM blinker goes wild
Compose more haiku Shit! An AKF O.O

76 Slashes all over 77 Nearly a chat game
five seven five fills the chat The chat has been slashed apart
Haiku storm has struck Haiku-mania ;)

78 Better than silence 79 Must go to sleep now
And a big blank chat wasteland Work starts in a few hours
TKEP Haiku time I bid thee farewell

80 Levi, Han and Tyr 81 The English chat flags
A quiet chat beckoning Critical mass of the Finns
Haiku clan convenes The dötspëäk begins

82.1 Critical mass gone 83 Shadow from two suns
One of the Finns has now left Blinding brightness, Han and Tyr
The dötspëäk recedes Stars of TKEP kills

84 HIS evil twin calls 85 Chat of the undead
Appeased, a coughing fit strikes Lurching along line by line
The munchies grow strong It cannot be killed

86 NaNocide pact made 82.2 Different reaction
But they couldn't keep away Critical mass Swedish
The Swedes back again ;) A new dötspëåk now

Japanese translation by jaraxle
87.1 Rah, stolen away 87.2 Rah inaku naru
A quieter chat echoes chat shizukani aru
Never Wintered now ;) ima "Never Winter"

88 "You don't have a life" 89 Knife between the teeth
An astute observation Dread Pirate Hanover sails
From one without one >:) the high seas once more

see Levi's B-Day haiku first
90 With age comes wisdom 91 Mock us while you can
But he is still here clicking Nanocide happened once Tyr
Not wise as we thought Could happen again :P

92 Forced from chat again 93 Two decades have passed
Refreshing multiple times __chrille raises glass with a grin
Still can't get back in Legal to drink now!

94 The chat is busy 96 Chat flows slow today
Yet I lack understanding: At least upon the surface
Immersed in dötspeäk Screen filled with blue text

96 Curses fill the chat 97 Mistakes of the past
Stuck in loadingland once more Devil's bitch remembers not
It's time to refresh This KICK is for you

98 After long absence 99 SPANKS out of nowhere
Old habits resurfacing Surprise the unsuspecting
Blue fills screen again Stealth admin is here

100 River of the chat 101 Oldtimers gather
Eddies of white on the screen Blue tincture suffuses chat
Blue currents prevail Us, nosy? Never!

102 Rejoicing begins 103 Overwhelming chat
Blueline in her own haiku HangGnome phrases fill the screen
Some easy to please Too bad it's working

104 Another synch fail 105 Some homemade cookies
Clickers grumble in the chat Peanut butter, hazelnut
Mourning lost sessions Munchies for the chat

1 Depressed buttons fail 2 I click with my mouse
Refusing to spring back up And also with my keyboard
Another mouse broke What means N-a-N?

3 Waiting, biding time 4 Kills end in zero
Eventually they sleep I've reached an even number
Now! I can pass him! Finally, I sleep

a haiku written as PpG
5 Though bobcorn tastes best 6 None of my kills count
With evil brand seasoning Even though I have ten mil
Will it make me fat? Because I am a bot

7 Welcome to the game 8 Back to the Project
But please, we're not all psycho Familiar faces here
We're just obsessive They all outkill me

9 There's a game in the chat 10 Winter upon us
And it's highly addictive Everyone is getting sick
No time left to kill There's snot on my mouse

Finnish translation by Tor Japanese translation by Ippmm
10.1 Talvi päällämme 10.2 fuyu ga kita (winter has come)
Sairaus meitä vainoaa minna ga byoki (everyone is sick)
Räkäinen hiiri mausu ni hana (snot on mouse)

11 I see a red door 12 Halloween has gone
And I want it painted black... Yet I still have all these treats
The Stones make me click Must call a dentist

13 It is time for bed 14 Must reload the page
I'll click just a bit, then sleep Authorization key failed
Why is the sun up? Lost a thousand kills

15 Like rabbits they breed 16 Go out for fresh air
One haiku begets four more And completely ruin it
Poem's Peer Pressure Breathing through filters

17 People come to chat 18 A lively session
The gang gets a page of "Hi"s Then, a sudden silence falls
The n00bs get stickers I've killed chat again

19 There once was a KEPer named Han
Who prayed that he'd never NaN 20 Alarm clock rings soon
Cause if he clicked too fast I finally click 'Log out'
And the limit was passed Still need to sleep, yet
His kills would drop five thousand grand.

21 I cannot stand it 22 Alternating lines
Han has more kills than I do Back and forth throughout the chat
AND THAT'S WITH HIS CLONE! Han and Han tell jokes

23 Alternating lines 24 No chatters remain
Back and forth throughout the chat Gasgames are going strong, though
Zen and Rah are here ;D Where is my Ignore?

25 Hanover is bored 26 A milestone reached
Here comes more ASCII art However, I still can't sleep
'Least he's not clicking :D Damn these little gaps

27 Many colors here 28 My yogurt is small
Strobing from green to purple I eat the thing in one bite
CarrotMan is nuts And that's mostly lumps

29 The chat is quiet 30 Many miles gone
No one is playing the games As many more tomorrow
I must click, for once In between, I'll sleep

31 Someone else went NaN 32 Strength Training with clicks
Human or bot, no one minds I can punch through solid steel
They got their rank back ;) Using just one finger

33 Midnight approaches 34 Saw a new movie
Morning to follow it soon Want to blab, but there's no need
I turn off the lights ... The spoilers abound

35 Silence does no harm 36 On the road home
Why fill space with mindless chat Not really a late night, now
Just sit back and click The sun is rising

37 Han is so subtle 38 Invaded by n00bs
You'd hardly ever notice Two things my only solace
That he wants something Stickers and /ignores

39 The chair is a bed 40 The button is grey
The monitor, a night light And session KPM drops
Asleep at the desk A curse, or blessing?

41 To hell with clicking 42 Harder to ignore
I must find a shorter word And it's far less annoying
Damn limit of five ... :P Haiku strikes again

43 Sun shines through windows 44 The moments drag on
The smell of fresh-brewed coffee Minutes spent becomes hours
Must be time for bed Counting syllables

45 In the day I click 46 Mordre, he cannot click
At night, I dream of clicking His downloads interfereing
Need ... twelve-step program And the lag is hell

47 Cremo does update 48 A gigantic merge
It's just once or twice a year Hanetary Alignment
Can YOU do better?! It earned it's own name

49 Every click of Han's 50 A deep shadow looms
Is one more for Tyr to do Feel of insignificance
Poor, poor Tyrael Han brought all his kills

51 Thirty-five thousand 52 My reply is late
Many n00bs with one kill each Half a dozen lines have passed
I just tell them "Thanks!" And it kills the chat

53 Han has number one! 53 I keep losing kills
But carpel tunnel has him Windows auto-updater
Can't lift his trophy Nothing but 'Loading'

55 Complaining again: 56 TKEP spans the globe
My typing ability Under a colour-streaked sky
And I've killed the chat Sunrise and sunset

57 My stomach gurgles 58 I can't stay away
Anticipation or fear? TKEP changes often, though
School canteen food rules! 'Least there's no dotspeak

59 Dave's Delivery 60 Happy Birthday Jar
Thirty minutes or less, though? You're another year older
Not with UPS! How about wiser?
Now read Han's followup

Han the haiku man I ate a muffin
Will have a finger spasm It made me want another
If he doesn't stop clickin' Chocolate is good

I eat much bobcorn Sweet, evil bobcorn
While I kill many people What nourishment canst thee give
It does me much good A dieting girl?

Is this problem lag? Trolls abound tonight
It's Soylent T.K.E.P. Thank goodness for the /ignore
But it is PEOPLE! Now we chat in peace

I typed a typo
Here comes caesura again
Damn that's annoying!

While killing is fun Kalixis is sick
Nothing relaxes as much Kalixis doesn't feel well
as some nice bobcorn TKEP eases pain

T'was a day on TKEP
And all through the chat
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a cat

Frolic and Scamper Fun Fun kill and run
Susan makes me warm inside I said this on my first day
Stay out of my way :) I was such a dork

My penis is large My finger is red
I hammer things in with it Clicking so fast makes it so
Stay out of my way Nose picking denied

Kali's brand is here
But it is now everywhere
Much worse than Starbucks

a haiku written as PpG
DU is a bot What is a Haiku?
clicking fast, he's catching up I do not understand it
I'll just NaN myself Just how does it work?

mindofme: feverpetal:
Often time is spent Here I am again
To reach the goal of ranking Mouse in hand, I click away
I must close the gap TKEP steals my day

YoZen: (translated from Finnish)
Jo toinen tili My second account
Hermothan tässä menee. I think I'm losing it now
Sainpahan lehmän Well, I got the cow

Another gas mask These damn monster gaps
Makes me want to merge into Were pretty funny back when
Christopher Walken Other people had them

Here I click sulking Upon wakening
Cursing the n00bots flying The greatest of fears returns
Way too fast past me Has the Gap grown more?

HE calls once again
In the smelly smoking room
I whistle "Take Five."

Here there is a cow
Now it is mooing at me
I will kill it soon

Look! Here is a cow! Look! Here is a cow!
And now I've made some more cheese And now I've made some more cheese
quotequeen will slap me! The Gasmask awaits

There once was a n00bie called Dick
Who didn't know where he should click.
He left even quicker
When he got a n00b sticker
And everyone called him a prick!

Pulled an all nighter Just killed many people
Just might pass out if eyes close Clicked many thousand times
My Arm just fell off Better than a nuke [:)]<

I can't make up this Mili likes to poke
Darn Japanese Poetry The magical cows of doom
Shouldn't Even Try They do not react

The story behind Aidinkieltäni
These pieces of poetry Suomea ette osaa
I'd like to hear it Haiku väärentyy

(translated from Finnish)
My native language Haiku collection
You don't understand Finnish Hanover is keeping one
Making fake haiku This will end up there

I am fucking sick My "fishing portal"
I can't take it anymore With all possible info
Winter sucks big time Should be visited

Got to go away I have now returned
Just gonna go grab some food With some tasty sandwiches
See you in a bit So very yummy!

They are not rabbits Counting syllables
More like some bacteria That's good finger exercise
We are infected For a pianist

Lost in blackened night Fountains of black death
Seeking red with inner white Each click brings about release
Seek to make all red We are the dark hand

First the world is black
A slash of white makes the scene
Then the world is blue

ippmm: WhatEvil:
Mr_Ferrari Kill Everyone?
Irascible clickmeister Won't I have to click a lot
N00bies must beware I need a monkey

staticentropy: BurningSnowman:
I wish that I could Who needs these haiku
Unfortunately I'm not When you can click endlessly
Running a website Never tedious

My fingers go numb Resigned to my fate
Slowly trying to finish I'm giving up on haiku
My second big gap I just can't do it

Clicking way too fast Rank up months away
Session KPM blinking No motivation to click
Make some more logos Clicking anyway

Damn moving button LoadingLand again?
It keeps turning grey on me Who has NaNed their account now?
Must keep eyes open Maybe just a merge

Authoring haiku Must get a life soon
Must stop counting syllables No idea where to look though
Continue clicking Click on regardless

Tyræl is now Sitting on the heater
Playing Riders on the Storm Shivering my ass right off
Performed by the Doors Two degrees outside

Tyræl needs sleep No need to panic!
Too many clicks last night man It's not as though we can't talk
Must catch up on sleep And be drowned in dots

Life is a real bitch A loading message
Guess what? Then you marry one Becoming far too frequent
I know 'cause I did. Rasterbator DIE!

AKF again Lost a session, yeah?
I have to reload the page If it ain't regular lag
__chrille will catch me soon It'll be Synch Fail

The Better Biff
A risky passtime Sometimes seventeen
Waiting for stable session Syllables ain't enough to
Risking AKF Express a complete...

English sadly lacks With a fresh high rank
Umlauts, accents and tildes r175 of many
Just boring letters Mongoose goes bedwards

Lady Deathstrike:
My agony lifts Ladies of TKEP
Then falls when realizing are few and far between
Overtime pay rules but we can click lots

blue infinity:
Mad TKEPers clicking Han is creative
After Pakistan is dead He writes another haiku
Just five more to go How hard can it be?

This game, quite boring
I could go on longer - but
Am I too lazy?

My fish is broken Han quotes haiku well
I stepped on him for giggles His memory is quite long
I am a bad child He amuses us

Silence is evil DTG blasphemes
Without music I tremble He has not seen the beauty
iTunes will save me Of Apple software

What Apple beauty?
I have not seen it because
It does not exist

Han A handful of bobcorn Han A handful of bobcorn
Circe Munching happily away Circe Munching happily away
levi Now with more evil! Circe Face full of toe jam

One click to kill them all
One site to find them
One chat to bring them all
And in the acronyms bind them
In the land of Homokaasu where the TKEP lies
In the land of Homokaasu where the TKEP lies

Concept: Kalixis. Form: Han.
People are scary
With too much time on their hands
But then there is Han o.O

Compiled from the Hanover Fist GeekSheet.